Emotional blindness

Being "Emotionally blind" means that you are unable to understand what other people are feeling. For instance, suppose you are talking about chemistry, a subject matter you are passionate about, to some of your friends. Suppose your friends are actually not interested in what you are saying, but you don't notice it. You cannot see that they are feeling bored of your monologue.

How is emotional blindness created?

1. A newborn child is always innocent. Some religions blame a new born child by theories like re-incarnation or rebirth; but these theories have not yet been proven scientifically.
2. Each child needs care, protection, security, warmth, skin contact, touching, caressing, tenderness, etc.
3. These needs of the child are seldom sufficiently fulfilled; most adults exploit the needs of the child for they own ends. This child abuse has lifelong effects. Society takes the side of the adult and blames the child for what has been done to him/her. The victimization of the child has historically been denied and is still being denied today. This denial has made it possible for society to ignore the devastating effects of the victimization of the child for such a a long time.
4. The child, when betrayed by his/her protectors and society, has no choice but to repress the trauma and to idealize the abuser. Repression leads to mental disorders like neuroses, psychoses, psychosomatic disorders and delinquency. In neuroses, the child's needs are repressed and/or denied; instead feelings of guilt are experienced. In psychoses, the mistreatment is transformed into a disguised illusory version. IN psychosomatic disorders, the pain of mistreatment is felt but the actual origins are concealed. Ub delinquency, the confusion, seduction and mistreatment of childhood are acted out again and again.
5. A therapeutic recovery can be successful only if it is based on uncovering the truth about the patient's childhood, instead of denying that reality.
6. The psychoanalytic theory of "infantile sexuality" is wrong. It actually protects the parent and reinforces society's blindness.
7. Fantasies always serve to conceal or minimize unbearable childhood reality for the sake of child's survival; therefore the so-called invented trauma is a less harmful version of the real, repressed one. The fantasies, expressed in literature, art, fairy tales and dreams; often unconsciously convey early childhood experiences in a symbolic way. This symbolic testimony is tolerated in our culture thanks to society's chronic ignorance of the truth concerning childhood. If the import of these fantasies were understood, they would be rejected.
8. A past crime cannot be undone by our understanding of the perpetrator's blindness and unfulfilled needs. New crimes, however, can be prevented, if the victims begin to see and be aware of what has been done to them.
9. Therefore, the reports of victims will be able to bring about more awareness, consciousness and sense of responsibility in society at large.

For more information, see works of Alice Miller.